J One

J One

To gain the friend

I must loose the lover I never had

Is it better

to be conversed

or kissed

Can platonic passions rage

where something different smolders

Have I found

a future friend

or a soon to be

past regret

And if we were to love

would he

in my bed

mean him

out of my life

How are we to be any good for one another

if we are neither truly friends nor lovers

Are stolen conversations all that we may share

How

and where

do I draw the lines of conduct and contact

when what I want

is to cut through the air between our lips

Everything crashes into me

those California waves

those do’s and don’ts

Can I even be his friend

or am I becoming an emotional

if sexless

mistress

And then there’s the truly evil pebble of doubt

Is this the life I’m living

or the game he’s playing 

To gain the truth

I must take the chance       

January 16, 1993

Tressa Lee Breen