Xavier

Xavier

An empty womb by choice

you grew so quickly

not under my heart

but in it

Born before time ended

a cry

a laugh

a breath

were never to pass through your lips

I could not even hold you well

for science's hopes flowed into you

your body so tender

that even my caring had consequences

The river in you was damaged

flooding above

backing up within

yet still needing more

Lullabies and love songs I sang

and talked to you of forests and oceans

and one who came before you

Your soul was trapped within a drowning mind

but I was able to hold you in my arms at last

once

before you heeded the call of our ancestor

and took your leave

Now I am filled with the unknowable

which I must learn to allow to fade

I must learn the day to day again

while cradling the memory of you

my almost

son

November 13, 2002

Tressa Lee Breen